Thoughts on Job 1

(Studying Job with Abounding Hope for this term's HelloMornings Challenge).

Why?

This used to be my first response to anything bad that came along, from a red light when I was late to Spock's birth defect. But I cannot honestly now think of a more dangerous question to ask God, and this for several reasons. The first reason should be enough to keep us from asking it: namely, we might get an answer. I don't know about you, but the older I get, the less I really want to know about the inner workings of God's plan. I am perfectly happy to never be a prophet, to remain in truly blissful ignorance. Of course, there are several things I could ask and have asked "why" about over the years, but what if the answer is that it is merely preparation for something more difficult? Do I really want to know? No thanks. Sufficient for today is the evil thereof. (Matt 25:34)

The second reason is that when we start asking "why" we start coming to our own extra-biblical conclusions. Take Job's "friends." Please, he'd really like you to. :/ Entire false teachings have been built up around this idea that simply because something bad happened to someone, they are being punished. In Acts 28:4, Paul is bit by a snake and the Maltans immediately assume he is a murderer, because that is the conclusion they have drawn from asking "why." We Christians become a nasty bunch when we start judging others who are suffering, especially our brothers and sisters in Christ. How cruel is it for a woman to lose a child and have people tell her that it is because of some secret sin in her life? Really? I'm fairly certain that, if this were true, Christians would all be the poorest of the poor, we'd all be eating out of garbage tins, that is if we lived longer than a few years after our conversion. The bible seems pretty plain that if we say we are without sin we are liars and the truth is not in us. (1 John 1:8) (emph mine)

Thirdly, and this is the lesson I've been learning only lately, is "why" our first response? If so, maybe we need to reexamine our faith. I was struck by what is written of Job, after he has, in only a matter of minutes, lost every single possession AND all ten of his children (take a moment and really try to fathom that)...Then Job arose and tore his robe and shaved his head and fell on the ground and worshipped. (Job 1:20) I have five sons, a couple of cars, a house, a nice chunk of property (by SoCal standards), a job I love, etc. I think I could stand to lose all the possessions. Shoot, in mid-life you start thinking of just chucking them and starting over. :D But my kids? If they all died, and all at the same time...I really don't know if I could even function, ever again. And, honestly, the idea of worshipping God at that moment, well, I just can't see myself doing it. :/

But Job was ready for it. He had prepared himself his entire life. Job 1:1 says Job was blameless & upright, one who feared God and turned away from evil. His daily life was one of honoring God, of prayer, of self-discipline...trust me, it takes a lot of self-discipline to turn away from evil, especially these days when we are intentionally blurring the lines so much. He was one who prayed, even that God would forgive the sins of his children. "Thus Job did continually." (Job 1:5b) (emph mine)

I was  recently listening to a Francis Chan sermon where he started by talking about a funeral for his wife's grandmother, then talked about her life. He said he'd never known anyone more in love with Jesus than her. One thing that struck me was a story he told about how she went with them to a play. It was a nice play, no bad things, nothing offensive.  At intermission he asked her how she liked it and she told him she didn't want to be there. She was thinking that she would rather be doing something like serving others if Christ came back right then. He said he spent the second act in prayer for everyone he knew, just in case Grandma had the inside scoop on something. :) Grandma was like Job. She was ready, and she was always desiring to be ready.

In my life, the question "why" to God has never gotten me anywhere, except bitter and angry. The people I know who are constantly asking "why" are all bitter and angry. "Why" just simply doesn't prepare us for the evil of today, or tomorrow. We do not know when it will come. AW Pink, pretty much my fave author (just in case you're looking for something to get me), said that if the only growth a Christian knows occurs during trials, he should probably question his Christianity. I was confused the first time I read that, but now I see that we need to grow before the trials, then we will be strong during them Yes, we will grow in the trials also, but if we use all our so-called "down-time" in nothing but frivolity and worldliness, we should definitely question where our loyalties lay.

Judging from what I've seen growing up in the church, this isn't the popular way to live, but it looks far less painful to have that peace that passes all understanding when the trials come suddenly, like they did for Job.

Trust

Been thinking a lot about this issue since writing on my fear Friday. I don't know if I've written about trust before, or just thought about it a lot. It seems that it is an issue at the forefront of my mind this year. Maybe it's the shock that coming out of last year, the one thing I was surprised to lose was my trust. I really used to be pretty trusting. That probably has a lot to do with being a positive person, always trying to find the best in everything and everyone, and some to do with probably not being the brightest bulb in the box. :D

Now, I don't ask "why" really anymore. It is a pointless question, and I plan to write about that on Monday. But maybe there is an answer to the "why" of the past two years, as we come on to that anniversary next week. Maybe, no, definitely, my trust was always in man. Not intentionally, but naturally, I trusted people, I believed them. But they are just fallen creatures like me. They are going to mess up. Of course, if they are abusive I don't believe that we need to subject ourselves and our children to that continuous abuse (that is just my way of assuring those reading that I have no intention of returning to that from whence I have come ;)). Maybe that is where the saying "hold onto this world loosely" comes in handy. It's OK to like people, but our trust cannot really be in them coz they are going to mess up...sometimes they are going to do perfectly evil things. If our trust is in them, if their "goodness" is what we base our faith in God on, then we will fall far when they fail us, when they turn on us.

Our trust is to be in Christ only. I know, you're thinking, I've got this down, you're not telling me anything I don't know, but I think that this problem of putting our trust in things apart from Christ is more pernicious than we realize. It's kind of like pride. It's there, but we just can't see it coz it is too much a part of us. As I finished up The Rare Jewel of Christian Contentment last week I was surprised to realize just how much even now my trust is in others, not necessarily in the same way, but still dependent on them for my feelings of peace or happiness. It's not an easy thing to break. And, like pride, the moment we think we have, we really haven't at all. It seems to be an ongoing process, slowly peeling the world off our skin so that we can fully and confidently, completely rest in Christ.

Somewhere there is a balance. There is a spot where we can trust people, but not "in" them. I'll let you know if I find it. ;)

Five Minute Friday: Afraid

(It's Five Minute Friday time again. Click here for more.)

I am afraid of God. It's an irrational fear, or maybe not, if you consider how purposefully the enemy has worked to create this fear. The years of being told that God delighted in being cruel to "good" people. That He was forever making life difficult. That He was unkind, mean, uncaring. I learned all these early in life from the mouths of people whom others don't like me to speak poorly of so they will both go unnamed. But the damage is done. It was further done as I grew, still believing this, and fell into a situation where the Christian leadership was cruel as well. Where I was taught that it didn't matter how the pastor treated you, you stayed in the church as long as it espoused certain beliefs, even if it only paid lip-service to those beliefs. Ultimately, that cruelty would lead me to fear pastors, elders, etc. But lately, God has been working on me. Slowly healing old wounds both done to me and by me. Lately, as I've been deliberately studying His Word, one theme seems to be recurring...God can be trusted. He is faithful. He will never leave nor forsake. Though all around me fail, pastors, relatives  friends, God will never fail, He will be the same as His word promises, and His word promises great things. Maybe life here won't be perfect, there will be trials, that is also a promise, but He is with us through each one. He lifts us up. He alone truly cares for us and meets each of our needs.

Visual Aid: OK, so this doesn't exactly do it justice but making God's love for us contingent on how "perfect" our lives are is just unrealistic. (And it's the 40th anniversary year of this song...or so someone said in the comments. :D)

The ORIGINAL Throwback Survey!

The Basics:

What is your Name? Sara

What is the Name of your blog? Which one? :D This one's For the Beauty of the Earth. My photo blogs are in links on the side and I also have a Homestead blog...I like to compartmentalize my life.

What is your blog’s web address? http://joyouslyredeemed.blogspot.com/

The Survey:

1. What state do you currently reside? California

2. What color is your natural hair? Same color it is now, brown with small wisps of grey (I earned that grey so I don't plan on covering it up).

3. How tall are you? 5'4"

4. What is your favorite food? Seafood

5. What color shirt are you wearing right now? Purple.

6. What are three cosmetic items that you wear every single day? Um, deodorant, um, toothpaste?, um, uh, glasses? :D I'm a tomboy. Never wear makeup except on rare occasions. My boys dance classical ballet so I joke that they own more make-up than I do.

7. What is your denomination? Gee, that's kinda complicated. In fact, it's almost soap opera-esque. Let's just say that I'm a Calvinist taking refuge in a former American Baptist Church...and very, very happy about it.

8. Describe your testimony? That's even more complicated. In short...I was a 42 year old pew warmer who finally "found" a church that proclaimed the gospel every single Sunday and found it hard to remain a false professor in light of the Truth of God's Word.

9. How did you meet your husband? At a church college group.

10. What is your favorite beverage? Coffee

11. How many kids do you have? 5...to quote Bill Cosby, "[We] have five children because we do. not. want. six." :D Took me five kids to finally get that joke.

12. Have you ever experienced an earthquake? Note my current residence.

13. What is your favorite TV show? Scarecrow & Mrs. King. Seriously, I do not watch TV anymore.

14. What was the last movie you saw? Battleship. And the last time I saw it as a movie, as opposed to a DVD, was ON the USS Midway aircraft carrier in San Diego. Yeah, it was pretty awesome.

15. Who is your favorite Bible character? Hmm, another complicated question...or answer, rather. Should I answer in a way that will make people comfortable, or should I tell the painfully honest truth? Leah, wife of Jacob. One day I'll write a book about it. (You can guess for yourself if this is comfortable or truthful.)

16. What color are your eyes? Brown--they were more hazel when I was a kid.

17. Are you a working mother, stay at home wife, or stay at home mom? Well, I'm kind of a SAHM with a volunteer job at a farm, so I feel more like a working mom, but I get paid in carrots and onions and such. :D

18. Do you homeschool? Gosh, why all these complicated questions? :D I sort of homeschool my oldest son, though we are calling it unschooling right now. I did homeschool my middle kids until this last fall. And I part time homeschool my youngest.

19. Did/do you attend University? If so, where. University of Montana

20. If you could change one thing in your life what would it be? That I would be more faithful each day to Christ.

21. Who is your favorite Christian singer or band? Casting Crowns

22. What is your absolute favorite color? Purple.

23. Think about something from the ocean and write it down: (yes, random…I know) Well, since I live in SoCal, when I think of the ocean I think of stinky air and sticky sand that takes three weeks to wash off your body.

24. Where is your favorite place to dine out? Well, in the old days, before we had kids, it was a restaurant at the top of the Bonaventure in Downtown LA. It revolves. It's pretty cool.

25.  Did you attend church camp? Just once. You can bet I'm making sure my kids get to it more than once now that we attend a church that doesn't have a hang-up about such things. 

26. Name a blog friend who’s name starts with the same letter as your name: Sherrey. 

27. Do you have a Facebook Account for your blog? No. Just personal.

28. Do you have a Twitter Account for your blog? No. Just personal.

29. Name someone you miss right now: My grandparents who raised me.

30. What is your happiest childhood memory? My grandparents raising me. :)

31. Name one thing you can cook better than your husband’s mother: (if you’re not married, then your own mother.) Hmmm, is this safe to post in such a public space? ;)

32. Would you consider yourself stubborn? Yep. And don't even bother to argue with me on this. I will win or die trying. :D

33. Do you feel like you are a good writer? Only when I'm delusional. Then I will post something interesting or write something interesting and all the grammarians will come out of the the woodwork and point out that there should have been a comma there. Is there a question as to whether I am opposed to grammarians? :)

34. Do you pin? If so, list your Pinterest screen name. Yes, homesteadstuff.

35. How many hours do you spend on Pinterest per day? <1

36. Do you use WordPress, Blogger, Drupal, or Typepad? (or another?) WordPress, Blogger, and Tumblr.

37. Where do you stand on wearing socks with sandals? My feet wherever I am. :P If your toes are cold, but you want to wear sandals, knock yourself out. Nobody questions when women where stockings with their sandals. :)

38. Did you design your own blog, or hire a graphic designer? A what? WYSIWYG is my way of designing. (That's point-and-click, if I remember correctly.)

39. What is your favorite widget/gadget? Anything that enables people to see pictures of my kids.

40. If you had to choose only one, would you have a clean bathroom or a clean kitchen? Kitchen. I spend more time in there.

41. Where did you honeymoon? Tahoe

42. Did you elope? No

43. Do you have a favorite sports team? I used to but I don't have time for that anymore. Now my fave sports team is whatever T-Ball team Braniac is playing on this coming spring. :D

44. What is your favorite praise & worship song? Beautiful Things. 

45. Were you raised in church? Yes. What's that old saying, "Going to church doesn't make you a Christian anymore than going into a garage makes you a car." Weak analogy, scary truth. 

46. When did you start blogging? A long time ago, in a galaxy...oh, wait, wrong movie.

47. What are your favorite blogs? I'm sort of in flux right now. Traditionally I read a lot of homeschool blogs and while I still read them, I obviously don't get the same thing out of them anymore. I like a few organization blogs like I Heart Organizing and I've been reading mostly homestead blogs lately, like The Walden Effect.

48. Have you ever lived in another country? Nope.

49. Have you done missions? If so, where & when. Short-term. Guatemala. In the previous century.

50. What version of the Bible do you prefer? I'm old. Still like the KJV. Sings better. ;)

51. What’s the story behind your blog name? Hmm, I should write on that one. It's part of my testimony. In short, after giving birth to Babycakes, God began a work in my heart to bring me to Salvation. It started with a new attitude toward Him and others. Basically, I was a happier person. I wasn't nearly as angry. And I was beginning to see the good things God gives to me on a daily basis. The song fit my feelings.

52. Describe the ultimate hands down best date on a $20 budget. I guess Panda Express. We don't date much and that's usually the only place I can get my dh to go to.

53. Will you tell one blogger about this survey? If so, then who? (optional: include their web address) Well, I'll Tweet about it. Does that count?

54. What is your favorite scripture? 2 Cor 3: 16,18 But when one turns to the Lord, the veil is removed...And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.

The Face of Abortion

Yep, it's Sanctity of Human Life Sunday and you're thinking, "Gosh, didn't she just write about this last year?" OK, maybe that's not what you're thinking but I have to say that there does seem to be an extreme passivity about abortion in Christian circles these days. Not quite as bad as our view of prayer, but getting there. Maybe it's because we're not in the news anymore. Maybe we're just like all the other people in the country who are looking for our 10 second sound-byte on the nightly and now that we can't have it we'll move on to other things.

Or maybe it's coz we don't think we've made a difference. We look at the numbers and they are terribly staggering. 56,000,000 children murdered in the US since Roe v Wade 40 years ago. It seems strange to us to consider the saving of 26 lives during one prayer campaign a victory. And, I guess it is, unless you're one of the 26.

Anyway, if you are offended by what I've just written prepare to be more so. I was too ethereal last year and apparently people don't get it so I'm gonna be frank. The following pictures are of the type of children murdered by abortion every. single. day. in the so-called "land of the free."

So, in case you don't know, that top pic is of my 3.5yo, known online as Babycakes, and that bottom pic is my 11yo, known as Spock. Each day women walk into clinics and "doctors" take (no, that's not the word I want to use, but I'm trying to be nice) their children like BC and Spock and throw them in a garbage bag. Now, I understand that there are many different reasons that women allow this to be done to them.

1) They've been taught that we are all nothing more than a mass of cells worth all of, what was the last estimate, $36?

2) They are pressured by their husbands, boyfriends, parents, friends, to get rid of an unwanted pregnancy (you know, I thought feminism was opposed to that but except FFL & NWF, I can't find a lot of feminist's who are concerned).

3) They are pressured by their doctors and medical experts to terminate their less-than-perfect unborn child coz it's really "what's best for everyone involved."

Now, of course, you'll say my decisions were easy. Of course, you really don't know me at all so you can say that. You can judge me and stick me into a box of your own making. But, if you knew me you'd know that I had just as much right to end the lives of my children as those who do. As do all the other women out there, religious or not, who choose not to kill their unborn children even though society accepts this act as perfectly normal.

I think the real problem is not what I've stated in the first three reasons, I think the real problem is that we've bought a bill of goods stating that we have a right to a "perfect" life. The idea of perfection being our ever fluctuating wants. I don't "want" the stress of a less than perfect baby. I don't want to have to go through all that time in the NICU and all that time taking a child to therapy just so he can learn to walk and eat. I don't want to have to spend my life possibly taking care of a less than perfect child, one who might need his diaper changed not just for two years, but forever. One who might never say, "I love you," or, "Thank you" for all our hard work and sacrifices.

I don't "want" a baby at my age. It wasn't like I planned to get pregnant. I already have enough kids. The cost of raising another child will put too much strain on us. It's a less than ideal time in our lives to have a baby. There are too many other things we have to deal with right now, a baby will only add to our problems. I have PPD really bad and don't want to go through that again.

I keep trying to figure out where we get the idea that we have this sort of "right." Why do we think this way? I know I grew up being told that I had a right to be happy and that I should do anything that made me happy. It was surely modeled by my parents and, unfortunately, even my grandparents. Society around me encouraged this thought. Why be miserable in a relationship when you can chuck it and try again? Why be miserable with a less than perfect or unwanted child when you can chuck it and try again (or not, as the case may be)?

In a nation obsessed with outward appearances and keeping up with the Joneses, imperfect, unwanted children are an easily disposed of inconvenience with neither the baby nor the mother of the child cared for because both are an inconvenience to our lives of ease.

So, tomorrow, just like today, about 3,000 more children like BC 

and Spock 

will be removed from our society violently and permanently.

And that's all I have to say about it today. You may now return to your life of ease.