This is a lot darker than I usually write, but it was the very first thing that popped in my head when I saw the prompt. Comments have been disabled for obvious reasons. Click here for other FMF entries.
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It's there in my head. Waiting. That voice. It's waiting for the lowest points, the darkest hour, then it comes out. It speaks. It tells me what I've known all along. That God planned for me to be utterly alone. "God is preparing you for a life of complete loneliness." I'm 15 again. Scared. On the edge. It won't take much to push me over. Then it will be the end. And that's what the voice says. Now, I'm an adult, but the voice doesn't leave. It's still there. It won't go away. I've done everything I know. I think I've banished it for good. Then, the dark times come, the sorrows of life. And the voice returns. In the middle of a room full of people, it is whispering to me. In the midst of friends it screams at me. God wants me to be alone. There is no one who really can care about you because God doesn't want it. That's the voice. My mother's voice. Have I put that voice in my children's heads? Is this how they will remember me? Is this how I represent Christ to them? This false religion that teaches children and the weak that God hates them? If it is...
